Hans-Joachim Marseille (apsynt) wrote,
Hans-Joachim Marseille
apsynt

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Pleasure animal

I've been thinking about this for a while now, it was an idea that came to me in a dream and one day i hope to make it into a reality. Now we all know that times are becoming harder, people have less and less free time and living spaces are becoming more and more cramped. Also there are people out there who get lonely, and also some silly ones who don't want to kill animals for eating.

Well, my pleasure animal would solve that. Genetically engineered of course, it would somewhat resemble a fat fluffy dog, and it would be self-sufficient like a cat.
On its back its fur could be lifted to expose a growth of nerveless meat. Now this piece of flesh would rapidly regenerate itself once a fillet or a steak is sliced off and the animal wouldn't feel a thing. A day or two later it would again be ready for harvesting. Since the animal would not be harmed in any way all those vegetarians would be appeased. What's more, with mirracles fo genetic engineering your animal could come in different flavours - pork, beef, lamb, chicken, turkey or venisson.

Another little surprise the new owner would find is an udder, you would have your own supply of milk as well, all you'd have to do is take it for a walk in a nearby park. What's more, it would also be capable of laying eggs. As with the meat growth, these would come in a variety of flavours ranging from usual chicken, ostriche and goose.

Apart from eddible aspects, the animal would also have guard dog capabilities, to keep you and your property safe from intruders. When in its friendly mode, it would cuddle you and keep you company as you watch tv.

Having goat's stomach it would serve the purpuse of waste disposal unit and would create a good, organic fertiliser for your flowers. Nothing goes to waste!

Now, when you finish watching that tv and decide to retire to bed, what you need for a good night's sleep is not a warm glass of milk but sex. Fret not, you won't have to go out and face numerous rejections till your ego shrinks to a sad little memory, your animal doesn't have that "pleasure" in its name for nothing. Any need can be catered to, be it for males, females or both. And for those that might want to try something different, bit kinky or just plain wrong, there are a range of animal genitalia available as well as the very special tentacled pleasure mouth. Aside from its two long slimy tongues which can tickle those hard to reach places, a set of squid like tentacles will bring even the most numb and unsensitive amongst you to pure orgasmic extasy.

So there you have it, it's an affectionate pet, a protector, healthy food source, waste disposal unit AND a sex partned all rolled into one cute ball of fur! Easy to feed and it basically takes care of itself AND you! And you thought dogs and cats were cool.. When i finally realise my dreams and make it will be a bigger fad than Hello Kitty and cellphones put together. A true neo-pet for the busy men and women of 21'st century.

Goodnight all.
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